I continued to observe things and twist my perceptions as I wanted them to be, without really understanding that the key is to see them as they are. I kept trying to escape but somehow I always ended up hitting a dead end, in an endless loop with a missing element that kept torturing me with a longing I was neither able to make sense of nor satisfy. Until I decided to confront my weakness and began to strive and correct my lack of knowledge and understanding by attaching my heart with the words of Allah. In the great and divine wisdom of the Quran, I found sufficiency and peace. Indeed the hearts find peace when it acquires the knowledge of Its Creator, His Attributes, His Mercy and His commandments.
I began to heavily rely upon Allah’s mercy for my help and guidance instead of valuing my own believability. I discovered my lack of knowledge of the basic fundamentals of my religion and how my inability to reinforce a change earlier was a result of confusing my heart's contentment and well being with strengthening and satisfying my own (shallow and worldly) desires. I discovered my disease of doubt & error that my heart was afflicted with- There are 2 types of diseases that attack the heart, one; DOUBT and Error and the second; LUST and Desire. Both are mentioned in the Quran.
Allah says, “ In their hearts is a disease (of doubt & hypocrisy) and Allah increased their disease. [Quran 2:10]. And I realized the remedy to this could only be attained through the guidance of Allah and indeed Allah guided my path when I lost my way
Allah says, “ In their hearts is a disease (of doubt & hypocrisy) and Allah increased their disease. [Quran 2:10]. And I realized the remedy to this could only be attained through the guidance of Allah and indeed Allah guided my path when I lost my way
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